Posts Tagged ‘Jokes’

 

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for  several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

 

One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.  As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? “You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side.  When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side…  You know what?” 

 
“What dear?” she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. 

 

“I think you’re bad luck… GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!”

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The Polite Way To Pee

 

During one of her daily classes, a teacher (trying to teach good manners) asked her students the following question:

 

“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

 

Michael said, “Just a minute I have to go pee.”

 

The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite.  What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”

 

Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll  be right back.”

 

“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word ‘bathroom’ at the dinner table.  And you, little Robert, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”

 

Robert paused and said, “I would say to her:  Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”

 

The teacher fainted…

 

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